Dear Mr. Jerx or shall I call you “Andy” (with apologies to George Tait),
It has come to my attention that you recently attempted to bust me by a laughable expose of my (apparent) true identity. Luckily, at least for now, you’ve only posted this secret to your 500 members of your private newsletter and the magic world as a whole is largely unaffected by this devastating truth bomb that you dropped. Please understand that I’m not confirming your suspicions. While George Tait and I are old colleagues, I wasn’t even aware of him until half a lifetime ago.
Not being a member of your prestigious organization, I didn’t get a message of your terms or your midnight deadline of August 1st, 2023. Luckily, we have eyes everywhere but sadly sometimes those eyes are a day late and a dollar short.
I’m afraid I wont be able to meet your “yesterday demands.” Perhaps other arrangements can be made?
If not…I assure you, two can play at this game. If you were my faceless, nameless neighbor I’d break out the tools and get to work. But rather than build a fence, I’d rather open a door.
My deepest condolences in regards to the sacrifices you had to make to come by this information. I hope it was worth your time and strenuous effort.
At least my other secret identities are secure, for now.
A Respectful Fan,
Patrick G. Redford
(What’s the G. stand for again?)
P.S. The sun will rise again.
P.P.S. If this makes no sense, this message was not meant for you.
P.P.S. I’m confident that at least amongst many, my secret will remain safely concealed in confusion
